Alarmathi Tanej – Motherhood made me realise how powerful and strong a woman is

‘Deep mahogany skin, nerd glasses and painfully shy is how I would describe myself back then. I come from a very conservative middle-class family, I was never allowed to take risks. I was always given the safest options in life and I didn’t have much to chose from. And because of this, when I came out in the real world, away from my people’s shadow, I struggled for very long. I ended up losing confidence in myself. I needed someone to rely on and to assure me if I was doing right.
Soon, life decided to give me a hard time and this time, I had to channelize my emotions and take the decision myself. Finally, I got married to my bestfriend from college, against all odds. We didn’t belong to the same community. It was the hardest decision of my life. That was the first time I stood up for myself unapologetically and ended up with a life of my choice.
But my low self-esteem started to creep back and I didn’t have a weapon to fight against it then. In a little while, motherhood hit me and things got worse. I felt like this poor little woman sitting in a corner with her baby and the whole world rotating her like a whirlwind. I just couldn’t take it all anymore. But then I heard a loud shriek, in which I could sense more fear than that of mine. It was my baby and all of a sudden it struck to me I’m not alone in this anymore. He is feeling what I am feeling and he is the only one person who has been closest to my heart literally.
I realised if there is one thing I’m proud of, it is that I was able to bring a life into this world all by myself. It is something that every woman does, but it was the most wonderful thing I had ever done in my life.
I realised that I’ve found my weapon to fight against the guilt that was hiding inside me and motherhood was that weapon. With every passing day I started believing in myself. Today, after 5 years, I’m blessed with 3 boys, who respect me and love me unconditionally.
Remember that I hated my glasses growing up? Today, there are 2 boys who would want me to be in them all day. Motherhood made me realise how powerful and strong a woman is. It empowered me to continue living my best life and loving myself.’ said Alarmathi Tanej

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